Today I left my child and teenage years behind me as I turned 20. I can't believe it's been 20 years, they seem to have gone so fast, as everyone keeps telling me. And as one family relative told me: "this time in another twenty years you'll be forty". Yeah, great!
I'm not sure how to feel. Physically, I don't feel any different. But I do feel different mentally, and not in a psychotic kind of way. But in my mind set and the way I'm viewing things at the minute, even though I've only been 20 for, like, 19 hours. But I feel quite a few things have been put into perspective for me.
In just over one year I will complete my final year of University, after crafting a 10,000 word dissertation and passing several more modules and feeling like my head is going to explode with information overload. Then after that, I'll officially graduate from University with, hopefully, a credible degree. (I'm aiming for a 2:1. A 1st would be great but the higher you set your sights, the faster they can come crashing down around you) Then I need to start looking for full-time employment and utilise the degree that I would've spent three years studying for. But in the current job climate, jobs are hard to come by, so I've decided I want to, hopefully, gain an internship within a company so that I can train 'on-the-job', as it were. Which means I need to start looking at possible companies to work with so I can start applying this time next year when the end of my final year is upon me. I may also consider becoming a freelance writer for various publications as writing is a passion of mine and once I'm settled in a full-time job, I'd like to write a book. Crazy, yes, but a goal to work towards, and by becoming a freelance writer I am gaining experience in writing for different genres and publications and evolving my writing style as at the minute I have no clue what type of book I want to write.
I've also been considering studying for my Master's degree, which means I need to also look at possible universities to study with and I also need to find a university that offers the Master's degree I want to study. That said, I'm considering putting that on hold for a year or two and gaining experience in a work environment and then maybe study for my Master's in a few years time but as a part-time student.
Professionally I have a lot of obstacles to overcome and decisions to make, but personally I have a few challenges, too. Once I graduate I would love to gain my degree, get a high-paid job, move to London or New York and live in a luxurious apartment and live happily ever after. However, a dream like that takes a lot of hard work to make a reality. In order to move into my own house or apartment, I need to get my finances in check and assess my financial situation before I even consider leaving home. Also, if I am lucky enough to gain a job in a city which requires me to move from my current city, I will need to look for accommodation near that city so I'm not commuting on a regular basis. Also, I would love to remain close to my family and friends but this may not be the case as after studying at University for three years, I must go wherever my degree takes me and be selfish rather than selfless.
When I write a prose of obstacles opposing me in the next few years, it's quite daunting. But I'm going to live for the moment and strive for the best I can give. I have no doubt that the next twenty years could be the best of my life if I apply myself fully. And this is exactly what I need to do. When I become complacent or lazy, I need to remind myself of what I'm working towards.
Sometimes I just wish I could freeze time and remember parts of my last twenty years forever, but I'm not gifted enough to bend time. So, to mark the end of one era and the start of another I'm getting a new tattoo on Friday - two feathers behind my left ear. Two feathers to represent strength, ascension, independence and the end of one era and the start of another.
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